memo writing or an essay of my love for philadelphia?

i think for now, not drinking is the way to go.  although i drank a little bit this weekend, i didn’t enjoy the effects – therefore, soberness continues.

i’ve been writing, reading, guitaring, sleeping. repeat.

i’m moving. to 47th and sansom. to a basement. to a basement with it’s own entrance and bathroom. to a house with 3 others who seem laid back and interesting living above. to a backyard that has a garden awaiting spring to return and will be an asset to my goal of more sustainable living. to a street which is 4 blocks away from my friends, 3 blocks from where i do most of my homework.

to a city that i’ve been in love with since i was tall enough to stare at the skyline from the  window above the water fountain on the 3rd floor of my elementary school. a city that i learned the order of the street names and directions they ran by the time i was 10(thanks mom).

to a city i spent my childhood sitting in the 400 level seats watching the phillies lose game after game. a city i was able to run down broad street during last october giving high fives and hugs to complete strangers because they finally won when it was most important. a city that i still loved after we made it all the way back this past october and dropped the ball. literally.

to a city i came home to after college and worked(or walked) so hard that the soles of my shoes wore through, leaving me with really cold(and wet) feet. a city i worked in and cried on the bus in the mornings coming to, but was happy to be in once 5:3o rolled around and i was free to use it as my playground.

to a city that has geographic borders that are larger than most, but still feels like a small town.

a city that  i’ve declared loyalty to no matter how much time i’ve spent and spend away in new york, because philadelphia will always be greater than any other.

eyes focused like a microscope.

i’ve been cheating on this journal. as usual. i can never adjust to writing in one specific place so in effect i have 800 different notebooks in backpacks, drawers, on tables, under my bed detailing my everyday happenings.

my life never slows down. you’d think i would be used to that by now. it’s starting to pick up even more now that we move toward finals.

i participated in sober october. that went over better than anticipated. actually, it’s november 2nd and i remain above the influence. i’m a walking PSA. great, go me.

things i’m doing right now:

1. looking up 2012 prophecies

2. researching black holes

3. listening to tegan and sara

4. watching videos on you tube

5. catching up with friends through text messages

6. occasionally typing a sentence into a memo i have due this month.

 

what i should be doing:

reading, memo writing, reading, outlining, reading, writing, reading, reading, reading reading reading reading reading reading reading.

breaking and entering

my morning started off by leaving my house for the journey to school, opening the trunk to my car, placing my keys in the trunk and then shutting it. subsequently, i was locked out of my house as well as my car.

this may appear to the untrained eye to be an ordinary bad morning/bad day situation. however; i have analyzed the surrounding circumstances and have come to the conclusion that it’s actually a testament to my growth and personal development.

for example, if this had happened 4 years prior(as an undergrad), i would have quickly succumbed to the fact that i was  locked out of my house and my transportation. therefore; my next decision would be to go sleep on the back porch until someone in my family came home from work and rescued me from the despair of having to spend an entire afternoon homeless, starving, and facing the horrible throws of society.

however; i’m now a (semi) grown person and immediately considered the fact that in the 4-credit class i would be missing this morning, i am only granted 6 absences. in a cost-benefit analysis, i quickly determined that although it would be nice to not have to break into my own house and have the opportunity to spend a friday without classes, it would be more beneficial to save my absences and cash in on them at a time when i really need them(ie: cannot pull  myself out of bed, attendance required in nyc, weeks leading to finals).

therefore; based on this precisely calculated situation, i did what any law student would do. i chose to go to class in the face of adversity. that required me breaking and entering, but for the sake of higher education i quickly extracted the ladder from the garage, and forced myself through the tiny kitchen window over the sink.

i think my favorite part may have been the fact that even though someone was breaking into their house, my dogs were completely silent for once.

i even made it to class on time. actually, i made it to class 15 minutes early. i’m awesome.

thursday.

owen show tonight at the church. the stairwell smelled like vomit and the room felt like a grown-up version of high school, still hot but a little less sweaty. came away with a new song to love.

last night was an impromptu trip to the shore where we were met with the calmest ocean i’ve ever seen. sort of eerie. chicken fingers and grilled cheese. whiskey and toothless waitresses. lost five dollars.

i need this weekend to recover from a week of no sleep. not the whole weekend, but at least a solid eight hours of it.

new leaves

the changing of the season hit hard, maybe not as emotionally this year. more in the sense of it being humid, hot and sweaty and seeking escape by drinking cold beers in large quantities one week, and the next requiring me to dress in layers, start baking, and drinking bottles of wine. it was a surprisingly smooth and welcomed transition for once. i’ll be speaking differently once all the leaves are off the trees, i can no longer go outside with out the wind stinging my face, and the sky turns gray for 90% of the day.

i’m settling back into my fall/winter music and straying further away from my beloved pop punk. right now, aside from the new paramore cd which is a complete guilty pleasure, i’m really into the new owen and listening to tons of bon iver and city and colour. you’d think i’d learn a lesson from letting myself listen to such droning acoustic emotional whinings, but i don’t. they mesh far too well with the weather, too much time spent alone driving, and wanting to sleep rather than read one more case.

my hair is growing long. i’m excited to wear beanies more often. $200 was taken out of my checking account due to a lost debit card. i think that made me more cognizant of my own consumerism, and how i need to appreciate the things i have and can afford on a smaller budget.

things i want to be doing:

drinking dogfish punkin’ ale, drinking southampton pumpkin ale, going apple picking, running, playing hockey, driving with the windows down and listening to an autumn themed mix, making/eating roasted pumpkin seeds

things i dont want to be doing:

homework.

cycle of endings and beginnings.

so i never officially documented it, but the end of summer has come for me. i am now back in school full time, and although i return a seasoned veteran to the halls of law school, i’ve come to the realization that i will never rid myself of the feeling that no matter how much work i’ve done there is always an endless amount waiting for me to continue. oh well, at least i know i’m not alone in that.

as for a recap of my summer, i’m not quite sure how i would even begin to put it into words. on the last week of my freedom, i happened upon a pile of free matt and kim stickers in a store on south street. the stickers’ message – “fuck YES. this is our summer”, can be said to capture my feelings towards the past few months in a mere 6 words. although similar to 2008(in the jobless-”i do what i want” respect), i think this summer was filled with more growth and independent thinking.

i spent my summer surrounded by the most genuine, giving, creative people i know. it may be surprising that i’m categorizing my friends in this way, who we generally look at as the craziest/most spontaneous/obnoxious group ever, but when you’re spending so much time removed from the stress of school and work, and regain your optimism – you apparently look deeper at friendships and your relationships in general. i wouldn’t trade one party, drunken argument, bbq, day spent doing completely nothing in the park, bike ride through the rain, 14 hour car ride, cry, “deep” conversation, text message, etc. on and on – for anything. i met so many new people, and became closer with the people who were already in my life. i appreciate every person who made this summer so great, and i’m greatful that i have the ability and opportunity to do most of the things i get myself into.

aside from the introspective look, i saw and did so much this summer. highlights definitely include bonnaroo, climbing mountains in maine, camp keach in kentucky and volunteering with books through bars.

now it’s back to schedules, responsibility, multi-tasking, late nights spent reading instead of drinking, competitiveness, and most importantly – hockey season.

TODAY I LEARNED:

if you don’t pass the bar, you will end up like THIS. according to the TRUE STORIES OF CAREER SERVICES!(rat tail growth projected over a 3 to 3 1/2 year period)

last week of summer

thursday

yesterday: lotty came over. apple store. went to chelsea market for lunch. sushi. stood by the elevator and made fun of people from the food network with lotty. met laura at the largest building in nyc(google it – not tallest), the internet seriously lives there. walked to hudson river park. sat in line. lucien downloaded an app to her phone that allows us to play kings wherever we go. courtney and angel arrive. go into pier 54 for the matt and kim show. stand in the front with 600 middle schoolers and an awesome dude who offered us food. watch team robeispierre(like them). goth complements my eyes. mist eachother in the mouth with the vodka mist water bottle, fail. watch flosstradamus(would have been lots of fun if we were at bonnaroo and/or drunk). lucien and lotty leave us to pee, courtney and i get crushed by the 50,000 people trying to push themselves into matt and kims laps. eventually make it back to our other friends who now include carmen, angel, and some other mville personalities. dance to matt and kim. leave. courtney drives angel and ian to grand central. we drive back to lucien’s apartment. order breakfast for dinner at midnight. eat. watch more roseanne. go to sleep.

today: bolt bus back to philly.